Many of us flinch when we think back to our middle school locker rooms. Changes before and after gym class had an unspoken rule: don’t look at me, and I won’t look at you. But what happens when you don’t even feel safe in the biological body you’ve been assigned, and now you are forced to use the restroom belonging to the gender with which you don’t identify?

The issue of gender-neutral bathrooms is one of great importance in schools today. And even though Massachusetts and various other states have implemented policies that allow transgender students to use restrooms that pertain to their gender identity, many other states and school districts are hardening their policies against transgender students.

The Elko County school board in Nevada, for example, voted in September that transgender students are not allowed to use restrooms that align with their gender identity, The New York Times reported.

School Board President Thad Ballard’s reasoning behind the decision was this: “When has it ever been appropriate for a biological boy or a biological girl to be in the opposite restroom of their gender? We’re all trying to think of the best way to protect the rights of all of our students, whether they’re transgender or not.”

This issue was also present in Tuesday’s election, as Houston residents voted no in a ballot referendum that included nondiscrimination protections for gay and transgender residents, the Times reported. Opponents say this infringed on their religious beliefs.

Karen England, spokeswoman for Privacy for All, an organization opposed to allowing nondiscrimination policies in California, told the Times, “The reality of their biology is that their plumbing is quite different, and I have a right to privacy, and I have the right for my daughters and granddaughters to have the right to be in a bathroom or a locker room without being exposed to the opposite gender.”

While making these locker rooms and restrooms all-inclusive is the goal, it would seem that it is completely unattainable at this moment in time. Until those parents and educators — and the students who bully their non gender binary peers — can not only stomach but accept a situation in which all those who identify as a certain gender may use the same bathroom regardless of biological sex, we can at least provide a separate, safe space with a door that locks for all students who wish to use it.

Obviously, there are problems with this solution and we must be clear in stating that this is not ideal. It’s uncomfortable to think that this seems parallel to a “separate but equal” sort of decision that would have been made back during the civil rights movement of the 1960s. But here we are, facing a new civil rights movement — and we have to take steps to reach our ultimate goals. A separate space is certainly more palatable to those who cannot comprehend the fact that transgender students may be just like them on the inside.

We can hope that transgender individuals understand that their physical body parts don’t define their gender identity, but we can’t imagine that all kids will be brought up that way. And the fact is, Judy Chiasson, coordinator in the Human Relations, Diversity and Equity Department for the Los Angeles Unified School District, is correct in saying that “unlike students in previous generations, even after physical education classes or athletic practices, students today do not tend to undress or shower in public facilities, and in bathrooms, students can use private stalls … in many cases, students do not even know whether another student is transgender or not.”

After physical education classes in high school, most of us changed our clothes and went right to class without showering. We’ve learned some pretty useful tricks for changing without anybody else seeing what’s underneath. And it’s even easier to maintain privacy with closed doors and bathroom stalls — remaining modest likely wouldn’t set any cisgender student apart from a transgender student. And, honestly, the kid who strips down to nothing in the school locker room after a regular gym class is really the odd one out in the situation.

Part of this has to do with the “forbidden fruit” connotation of being naked in our society. We’re so not used to the idea or sight of it, it becomes coveted and sexualized. And it’s also an issue of age — many girls our age have walked through our community gym’s locker room to see women who are much older than they are stand at the counter with their hair dryers, completely naked.

But in middle school, we are so nervous about coming into our bodies already. We have just hit puberty — we are growing hair in weird places and our faces are riddled with bright red and puffy blemishes. We sport the finest in metal mouthwear and we haven’t yet discovered the wonderment that is antiperspirant. Put yourself in the shoes of someone who feels out of place in the biological body they are inhabiting — now, add in all of these extra factors we all experienced. These compounded on top of the fear a transgender student must already face is more damaging than the girl who may or may not see a transgender girl’s penis.

Of course we understand that some students have taken advantage of the fact that their school has allowances for transgender students — there are the ones who undoubtedly say they are transgender just so that they can spy on their peers of the opposite sex. But these sad excuses for people don’t realize that this is actually an ongoing struggle that many face and that we can’t possibly identify with. It’s an issue, but not one that should keep us from accommodating transgender students.

We can only hope that someday, we will be educated enough to realize that transgender people are just people. The “I don’t want a boy around my girls” excuse, made by Jeff Johnston, an analyst at conservative group Focus on the Family, in the Times article, is archaic and heteronormative. Newsflash to these parents: your 17-year-old high schooler probably isn’t as pure as you think.

The fact is, we shouldn’t be giving ourselves high fives for stomaching transgender people — gender identity is a growing civil rights issue and we are responsible for helping others to understand, too. We should be educating students instead of pushing their transgender peers away.