I switched schools entering the sixth grade. My parents were unhappy with my prior one. It was strange being the new kid in a crowd who had known each other their entire cognitive lives. “Are you fitting...

When I was 14 years old, it was quite clear that my best friend’s mother didn’t care for me. He was the type of kid who wasn’t inclined to get into trouble. She saw me as a poor influence. She was...

I can vividly recall a pitcher on my high school baseball team getting upset at an outfielder in our dugout in between innings. We were winning — that wasn’t the issue. He was angry because he had...

Every now and then, I hear a statistic that gives me substantial pause, such as the fact that there are more than 1,000 chemicals in a single cup of coffee, or that vending machines commit double-digit...

I gave someone the finger the other day. I was asked to run all over town during rush hour, and was not given nearly enough time to do it. Hazard lights flashing, I pulled up outside one of CBS’s 5,000...

My freshman year of college, I was invited to tag along to a giant dumpster fire of a fraternity party with some people on my floor. I had been to parties at this particular house before. It was a typical...

It didn’t take long to realize that this butcher didn’t speak English. So, I started pointing to the corresponding parts of my body that I wanted to buy from him. I stuck out my tongue. His face lit...

“May I give you some advice?” the hairy-chested man asked as he popped his goggles up onto his swim cap. “Shorter kicks. Use a kickboard to learn. It’s not as easy as it looks.” And just like...

“I can get the coffee,” I said, naive to the certain doom that awaited. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, the assistant director’s face revealed an expression I had seen before. It was the...

There are approximately 2 million cars inside the city limits of Los Angeles – a car for every two people. An absurd figure when you take into consideration that it includes infants, middle-schoolers...

When I was 16, I asked the same girl on a date four Friday afternoons in a row. I’d spend the whole week psyching myself up, thinking about what I’d say, how I’d say it and what measures I’d take...

“There are three types of people in this town: sharks, vampires and victims,” the guest speaker told our small congregation. This statement attracted sweat to the top of my brow. These words convinced...