After experiencing the museum, Montgomery felt different. My class was silent. Nobody cared to crack any jokes. The air even started to smell different — like rotting garbage, reminiscent of the Southern Magnolia that Billie Holiday sung about decades prior.
These things seem really simple, but they took a lot of effort. The cycle of self-hate is a vicious one, and I’ve realized that breaking away from it takes a lot of work.
I’m worried that something similar might happen when I return from college. Instead of feeling comfortable and relieved, I’ll feel unfamiliar and awkward, like I’m staying at a friend’s house for a week before I return to Boston. I’ve often heard sayings such as “home is where the heart is,” but how am I supposed to call this new place “home” without the proper time to love it?
I curated a playlist of songs that make me feel warm, anticipating that I’d need some soothing music to help me get through the next few months of cold temperatures.
