A friend once shared something that hit home: “You can’t expect to be happy in a relationship until you’re happy with yourself.”
This truth was hard to swallow.
For years, I searched...
Dear Abby: I have to confess, I’m thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy and I still love him, but we’ve been fighting a lot recently, and it’s draining...
So here it goes, my final thought: How do I become myself again? Immediately after my breakup, I was overcome with some of the most significant emotions — loss and confusion. Not only was I devastated because of who and what I lost in someone else, but also what I lost in myself. I lost a huge part of me, causing me to ask myself: Who am I without anyone else? How do I become who I was before my relationship?
Relationships can teach you how to fall in love with yourself. They provide someone else’s perspective as a lens to view yourself in ways that you wouldn’t have otherwise. Once you lose that relationship, it causes you to lose that confidence because the person who once reassured you, is no longer there. This became difficult for me, as the pressure that I placed on my relationship had derived from my deeper insecurities to begin with.
TikTok houses what I like to call “BreakupTok,” a trend where users can discuss breakups, share experiences and give advice. As someone who enjoys reading through Pinterest quotes and relating to other people’s experiences, I love “BreakupTok” and how it allows my own experiences to feel heard and seen.
Music has the ability to speak for a wide range of experiences. It can resonate across various groups of people who have nothing in common but a shared appreciation for lyrics. There is a certain power in a song's ability to align with how you have been feeling and speak the words that you’ve been trying so hard to find.
One of the most important things I have learned thus far from my breakup is how important respect is. Going forward, it is one of my top priorities —both for myself and my relationships.
In a world where expectations can feel as high as the skyscrapers of Boston, embracing the simplicity of being “just a girl” has become my guide. It’s a reminder that –– in the midst of societal norms –– it’s perfectly fine to be just a girl. To just be human. Without the weight of expectations.
With experiencing a breakup comes lots of mourning and grieving. You grieve the loss of so many things –– not just the relationship but everything that came with it: the friendship, the partnership, the dependence, everything.
Sufjan Stevens has finally returned to form in his new album “The Ascension," and he moves far away from his previous harrowing and extremely personal 2015 album.
